i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize