I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
