the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
