yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
