You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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