She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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