either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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