I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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