they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
