i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
