ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize