If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
