I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im holly from the hills drunk
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
