What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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