I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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