I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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