There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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