Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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