she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
