yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize