why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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