I wish I could teleport
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
