Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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