we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
