If i come over, it means nothing
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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