Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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