We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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