The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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