I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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