I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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