thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
