just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
