It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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