You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
