After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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