Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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