I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
