One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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