I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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