You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
