Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
