It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
