She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
