so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
