lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Green mimosas i think yes
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
