and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
