Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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