Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize