thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
In America we eat man semen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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