is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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