You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just googled if crying burns calories
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
