some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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