the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
