i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
