Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
