In the future we'll all be gay
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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