he told me I talked like a deaf person
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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