Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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