I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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