k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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