why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
