who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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