I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
