Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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