My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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