Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
