I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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