I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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