Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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