I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize