They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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