omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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