i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
