I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
