More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
