i don't like sucking hair
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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