she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
