he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
