called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize